Mother of the Bride Attire Etiquette Q & A

While working in the bridal industry, I found that some Mothers of the Bride had difficulty in deciding what to wear for their daughter's wedding.  I found this article on The Knot, www.theknot.com, and thought it answers some really good questions concerning the Mother of the Bride's attire.  I hope this helps! - Nikki Melton


Q. What's the dress-buying protocol for moms?

A. It's customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear. However, this approach can be a little old-fashioned, not to mention a little unrealistic. There's always some factor that make abiding by tradition a lost cause. Our advice: Just play it by ear, and try to be flexible. It's not a competition.

Q. When the mother of the bride buys her dress, is it her duty to then politely "inform" the groom's mother? What happens?

A. Old-school wedding etiquette says "yes." She is expected to notify the mother of the groom (presumably to prevent overdressing, clashing colors, and other fashion faux pas.) And while it's certainly good form, it's not a requirement, especially if you're worried about seeming pushy or bossy. That said, the mother of the groom might really appreciate -- and even expect -- a heads up. You can either have your daughter subtly pass the details along, or, better yet, give her a call youself. Try to sound as friendly and non-territorial as possible: "I finally found a dress that fits! Do you know what you're wearing yet?" Chances are the mother of the groom will want to know more. Of course, she might be totally disinterested, but if that happens, don't sweat it -- you've been heard.

Q. Does the mother of the bride need to touch base with the groom's stepmother about the dress, or should she contact only the mother of the groom?

A. Divorced family situations can get sticky. Don't worry about the groom's stepmother. He'll let her know what you (and his mom) are wearing. You risk offending the mother of the groom if you formally involve her ex-husband's wife in the game plan.

Q. What are the color restrictions surrounding the mother of the bride's dress?

A. Traditionally, avoiding dresses in the white, ivory, and champagne color family (that match the bride's wedding gown), black gowns (that can suggest mourning) and red gowns(or similarly "flashy" shades) is the standard. Though we've seen moms in white who look tailored and elegant. We think black is classic, chic, and formal, and know that even red can be done with gorgeous good taste. The bottom line? Before you start shopping, talk to the bride. She may be very sensitive to the color issue or completely indifferent. If she expresses reservation, think about subdued-but-stately colors in the lavender, silver, burgundy, and blue families.

Q. Does the mother of the bride's dress color have to match the bridesmaids?

A. Some will swear by the "rule" that all the dresses must coordinate. And some brides really love that matchy-matchy look. But there are countless alternatives. Maybe stay within one color spectrum -- if the bridesmaids dresses are baby blue, for instance, the mother of the bride can wear navy. But mixing and matching can be ultra-stylish, too. What's most important, however, is that everyone feels comfortable and beautiful.

Q. When it comes to choosing the Mother of the Bride's dress, how much say does the bride
have?

A. Definitely consult her on color -- she may have issues with certain shades (white, black, red) or want your dress to complement the bridesmaids' get-ups. She may also have ideas about style, length, and formality. Do try to respect her wishes -- her opinion should count for a lot, and if she wants long sleeves or if she likes you best in pistachio, what's the harm in obliging? Keep her guidelines in mind while shopping, but the dress you settle on should make you happy, too.

Q. How far in advance should the Mother of the Bride purchase her dress?

A. Start dress shopping as soon as possible. If you must put it off (maybe you're trying to firm up or just dread shopping in general), aim to have made a decision at least one month before the wedding. We know you're going to get around to it eventually -- just be sure to let the groom's mom know she can forge ahead without you and keep the bride informed of your progress.

Q. Does the Mother of the Bride have to get dressed up for the wedding, even if fancy isn't her style?

A. If it's an evening wedding, you're going to have to dress up more than usual. You don't want to stick out or appear disrespectful. But this doesn't mean you have to sport sequins and satin or velvet and rhinestones. There are many frill-free formal looks out there. Stick to your guns and you'll find an outfit (pants are okay!) that's unembellished, easy, and elegant -- perfect for your casual style.

Q. Can a young-looking MOB wear a strapless ball gown -- is there such a thing as looking too young or sexy?

A. On one level we think you deserve to wear a fabulously sexy dress, but on another, we're wondering how the bride will feel. If she's supportive, go for it -- you're both going to sizzle! But if your daughter seems concerned about "Mommy" turning heads, not acting her age, and otherwise upstaging her, let her be selfish. It's her day, not yours. Besides, you're not limited to "frumpy" or overly conservative attire at all. It's quite possible to be glamorous without ruffling any feathers.

-- Amy Elliott

Read more: wedding.theknot.com http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/mother-of-the-bride-attire.aspx#ixzz1TFPEqYIG

Bridal Bouquet Bonanza

I found this great article on flowers for your wedding day and wanted to share it with you.  Your floral selections will help to set the style of your wedding and I hope this helps you to get started on some of the larger details to be taken into consideration as soon as possible.  - Nikki S. Melton

Bridal Bouquet Bonanza
Reprinted from www.weddingzone.net, <a href="http://www.weddingzone.net/">Wedding Planning Guide</a>
by Kathryn Lemmon, Wedding Zone Staff Writer

Chances are, you'll purchase more flowers for your wedding than for any other occasion in your life.

Among other factors, the choice of your wedding bouquet depends a great deal on the style of your gown. Season is another important consideration. Like many brides, you may decide to chose your bouquet based upon the time of year. Bouquets come in these principal types:

Cascade: The cascade is the most traditional and formal style of bridal bouquet. It's a waterfall-like "spill" of blooms and greenery which is anchored in a hand-held base. As the name implies, it resembles a cascade or waterfall with the flowers flowing downward. Traditional wedding flowers used in the cascade bouquet are white and include roses, stephanotis, white or calla lilies, and mingled with greenery. The bouquet has the appearance of being loose and free flowing.

Classic Hand-Tied Bouquet: This choice is a dense bunch of blooms either anchored in a bouquet holder, wired, or hand-tied. This option gives the illusion of a "just picked" bouquet of spring flowers.

Nosegay: This is actually a general term for any small, round cluster of flowers, all cut to a uniform length. They were all the rage in Victorian times and are popular once again. Usually made with one dominant flower or color, nosegays are wrapped tightly with ribbon or lace for a delicate effect. This type of bouquet usually contains very little greenery. Or, for an all-out Victorian look, insert the nosegay into a silver carrying cone (also known by the unusual name: tussy mussy).

Pomander: This style is a bloom-covered ball suspended from a ribbon, perfect for child attendants. (Flower girls may carry a basket of petals instead.)

Composite: Less well-known, this option is a handmade creation in which different petals or buds are wired together on a single stem, creating the illusion of one giant flower.

Beidermeier: This is a nosegay made up of concentric circles of different flowers for a somewhat striped effect.

Arm Bouquet: As the name implies, this is an elegant crescent shape, designed to be cradled in one arm.

Here's some additional bouquet suggestions and ideas.

Don't let your bouquet overwhelm you. A beautiful gown will be over-shadowed by a large, cascading bouquet. If you're petite, the weight of a large bouquet could become a problem during the ceremony. Consider your gown and your stature before making selections.

Local, in-season flowers will guarantee freshness and lower cost, so choose a couple of seasonal staples (orange blossoms, lavender, or tulips, for example) and use them as a base for bouquets, boutonnieres, and decorative arrangements. For continuity, incorporate them into huppahs, arches, or pew adornments, as well.

Select flowers which will hold up for the entire day. Particularly if you are taking pictures before the ceremony or outside, you want to make sure that you select flowers that will still look gorgeous when you walk down the aisle. Another option is to use a bouquet holder, which will keep your flowers hydrated with water for most of the day.

Flowers in matching shades or cool contrasts are stunning, but make sure they suit your wedding. Bring a bridesmaid dress fabric swatch when you meet with your floral designer (to show your wedding colors), and provide a wedding dress photo to give the designer a sense of your personal taste.

Florists who specialize in weddings may do more than just blossoms; they also conceive and execute the design for your reception, from flowers to linens, candles, decorative trees, lights and more. Whether you go with one of these full-service designers or a standard florist who'll provide bouquets, centerpieces and the like, you should start looking for a professional at least several months before the wedding, or earlier.

Consider silk flowers. Although not as traditional as real flowers, they are becoming more popular. Today, there are many realistic looking silks to be found. Craft stores sell a wide variety of silks, and you don't have to worry about whether or not your choice is in season. In general, silks are a less expensive alternative to real flowers. You also save money on preservation after the wedding.

Elaborate arrangements mean more of your budget is going for labor rather than for the flowers themselves. If you stick with simpler displays, your money will go further.